Prematurity Awareness Month

I know Ava wasn't as premature as some of her NICU buddies. But it was still a trying time. She was born at supposedly 35 weeks, but when she was born she plotted out to be a 33 weeker. She was big, 5 pounds 14 ounces. I am suspecting i had a touch of diabetes.

Anyways, to see my baby blue and purple, when i was not expecting it, was not fun. I think I was in shock? In denial? I did not know what to think. After 2 horus of not seeing my baby, i began to wonder if that was normal? I thought shouldnt i be bonding with her? I hear the couple down the hall, and their baby is crying and everyone is laughing and having fun. Then the news that she had to be transferred to Pittsburghs, West Penn Hospital. I was still in shock..this whole team came in a mobile NICU to get my baby. They wheeled her in to me in this huge glass type thing, with all these wires..i had to tell her bye. I just met her and already had to tell her bye.

The next morning was when i finally lost it. They had told us we had to watch this video about what to do when you take home your baby. So we put it in so we could leave asap. My mom then called and said that we could hold her when we got down there, ( she was with her!! ) and i told frank..and he started crying..well if he was crying, then something was wrong. my mind just wasnt right..i lost it. Thank goodness the dr let me go...he came in and tried to talk to us, and the nurse plopped out that video and told us we shouldnt of put it in.

And we were off. I was never in so much pain, with 50 plus stitches i could hardley sit. I just wanted to see my baby. So that night we make it to the NICU. I felt like a lost little girl looking for own little girl. We scrubbed up and walked in...Frank went to the wrong baby, he thought it was Ava! We didnt even know what she looked like, He got "Scolded" for that and we told them we were sorry that we didnt know which was ours. Finally i got to see her, she was laying there looking peaceful with her heart monitors and IVs. She had the normal preemie problems, Bradys, apnea, feeding issues, jaundice, couldnt hold her body temp and RDS..she had a lot of fluid on her lungs. The nurses took such good care of her. It was a scary and trying 2 weeks..( yes only 2 weeks , but 2 weeks IS 2 weeks...) Frank and I totally grew up in those 2 weeks. At first I didnt even want to be there, everytime her monitor would sound i would leave the room. I couldnt deal..then I got to hold her for two hours one night, and no alarms went off. It was a turning point for me. They tested her for downs, and waiting for those results were hell. I still get comments that she looks like she has downs? I dont know, ALl i know is my 16 month old baby girl is my best friend ..we hang out all day together. I am so proud of my girl. I worried so much that first year..she doesnt do this, didnt do that...nothing was "on time". we still worry, and are probably facing speech therapy. But she is healthy and happy..thats all that matters...here are some nicu pics . before and after !

Just random banter

So its 1020 pm and Ava refuses to go to bed. Im done trying , she will come to me when she is ready ...she is playing and being good but still..i like for her to be on a schedule and she doesnt sleep good anyways. OK so im making no sense...i just want her to go to bed!!!! sigh.
Im kinda sad, i just got the news that my BILs dad is dying , and might not make it thru the night. now ive never met him, he lives in wisconsin, but i still feel bad about the whole thing.

I have a pounding headache, plz tylenol fast realease...WORK and work now!

Ava is walking pretty good now, she prefers to walk rather than crawl..she is still pretty slow and the slightest breeze will topple her over ;) We went to the park twice last week. It was soooo nice! She had a blast, going down the slide ten million times and swinging. Of course she cried when we left.
Her 15 mth appt is Thursday. I am really afraid since I am going to tell them once again that i dont want her to have two shots at once. Either the MMR or something else. If it were up to me i would have the MMR seperated, they told me they dont do that. Im very worried about this, Dont get me wrong, i want her to be vaxed, but not so many at one time. I belive in my gut that her body just cant handle that. I told them NO Chicken Pox vax and they about went thru the roof. But she didnt get it , and they told me that wont be the last we hear from them abotu that vax. She is MY daughter! I swear.

Ok well my baby is laying the floor so maybe she wants to go to bed now?? wish me luck!

Ava is walking!!!!!!!!

I am soooo proud of my little girl! For a couple weeks has been taking steps here and there, but the last two days she really taken off..granted she is really slow at it hehe, Daddy said she looks like Frankenstein trying to walk. Ive been waiting for this for what seems like forever. When all the other July babies were walking on their first birthdays and then for Halloween, and so on..I was getting worried! So one more weight off my shoulders.

Happy Halloween ( a little late ! )

I hope everyone had a good and fun Halloween. Ours was alright, Ava went to a party and on Tuesday we tried to go Trick or Treating, but it rained and was cold. She ended up with a lot of candy, that I really need to stop snacking on! She had a ton of fun at the party which was held at her Aunts Dance studio. She crawled everywhere and was going through other kids legs. She was the star of the show!!

She ended up getting sick on Weds. She started running a high fever , around 102.5 and we took her to her pedi right away. They thought strep throat but her culture came back good. She was also bagged for a urine culture. That was a nightmare. Now remember I am a FTM ;) But about an hour after got home i checked her bag and it was OFF. Im like omg now what?? It wouldnt stick back on so i got tape. Yes I taped it on myself with some packaging tape. We ended up getting enough and that came back too. I thought for sure it would of been contaminated from me messing with it so much. PHEW! She is on an antibiotic and on Saturday her fever finally broke and then she broke out with a rash. Scared me to death. Seems it was Roseola ( SP?? ) I thought for sure she had measels. She is still not feeling like herself, she has been sleeping a lot..which if anyone knows Ava, is really unusual. I am hoping she is back to herself soon, or I may just loose my mind from worrying so much!!
As Far as me, Ive been doing ok, having horrible nightmares about people dying! UGH. And today is the first day ive had to take an antivert in a couple weeks. I feel way dizzy today, but then again my ear is feeling clogged again. Sigh. Alright we are off to Nanas for awhile. Take care!!